My small dream
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
It\'s funny how you started your essay with your dream of playing the guitar and ending it with a decision that you don\'t want to play it anymore because it\'s hard. xD
I had dreams of being in the army when I was young, but I don\'t want to pursue it as well because it\'s deadly.
Thank you for doing your homework today, [이름].
Keep it up!
~Teacher Eve.
What\'s your dream?
>> Correct!
Whether the dream is big or small, all we have a dream.
>> Correct!
I also have a dream. It\'s not a big dream, but I\'ve dreamed of it for a long time.
>> I also have a dream. It\'s not a big dream, but I\'ve dreamt of it for a long time.
I want to play the guitar well.
>> Correct!
When I was 13, I learned how to play the guitar for the first time.
>> Correct!
However, it was really hard.
>> Correct!
My fingertips were hurt by sharp guitar strings.
>> My fingertips were hurt by the sharp guitar strings.
My friend could play the guitar well, but I couldn\'t.
>> Correct!
Therefore, I thought that playing the guitar was not my talent.
>> Correct!
I gave up playing it after 6 months.
>> Correct!
However, my dream is participating in the school band and playing the guitar in front of the audience.
>> However, my dream was to participate in a school band and play the guitar in front of an audience.
Because I think that a musician who play the guitar looks really awesome.
>> Because I think that a musician who plays a guitar looks really awesome.
I don\'t still make my dream come true.
>> Correct!
I don\'t have enough time and money to learn the guitar.
>> Correct!
I visit my student\'s house everyday to teach the math, therefore, I can\'t focus on playing the guitar.
>> I visit my student\'s house everyday to teach math, therefore, I can\'t focus on playing the guitar.
Recently, I earn some money but I want to save it.
>> Recently, whenever I earn some money, I want to save it.
I don\'t also like play the guitar, because it is so difficult.
>> I don\'t also like playing the guitar, because it is so difficult.
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