My task(Last one)
학생이 쓴 원문
Eventually, it is apparent that there should be city or the government's interest to handle this problem. It is important to attract local people and they have to let local people to access more easily, and also remove their economical worries. It it the way to develop the city and to make city more active in economical aspect.
(This conclusion is the last one, wish you not to feel uncomfortable TT)
강사 첨삭
Thanks for your effort [이름].
Good job on writing your essay.
Let us achieve a more coherent one next time, see you^^
Eventually, it is apparent that there should be city or the government\'s interest to handle this problem.
>>Eventually, it is apparent that cities or governments are interested to handle this problem.
It is important to attract local people and they have to let local people to access more easily, and also remove their economical worries.
>>It is important to attract local people and they have to let local people access those areas more easily, and also remove their economic burden.
It it the way to develop the city and to make city more active in economical aspect.
It it the way to develop the city and to make city more active in economical aspect.
>> It is the way to develop the city and to make it more active in economic aspect.
(This conclusion is the last one, wish you not to feel uncomfortable TT)
(This conclusion is the last one, wish you not to feel uncomfortable TT)
>>(This conclusion is the last one, I wish you are not feeling uncomfortable TT)
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