My will

2009-11-26 · 첨삭 강사 JADE

학생이 쓴 원문

My will to contribute at society will never make me let go out of this organization or job. I also lave being expensive with varity people and country. The work alone motivates me becasue i really enjoy to meet new people, to contact new country. Wherever It meet to me I will go. The all activity of U.N simply drives me to stay interested in my server. I expect a lot of areas for keeping peace and supporting poor country in United Nations.

강사 첨삭

Hi there!! Good answer... You have very interesting viewpoints and ideas...

I have a few corrections though...

 

Corrections:

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My will to contribute at society will never make me let go out of this organization or job.
>>My will to contribute to the society is keeping me from going out of this organization and my job.

 

I also lave being expensive with varity people and country.

>>I also love meeting various kinds of people from many different countries.

 

The work alone motivates me becasue i really enjoy to meet new people, to contact new country.

>> The work alone motivates me because I love meeting foreigners.

 

Wherever It meet to me I will go.
>> I will go wherever it leads me.

 

The all activity of U.N simply drives me to stay interested in my server.
>> All the UN activities simply drive me very interested of the service I do.

 

I expect a lot of areas for keeping peace and supporting poor country in United Nations.

>>I look forward to more activities on peace keeping and supporting poor countries.

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