North's attacking to South

A few days ago, North Korea fired missles to South Korea so two people died and several people were injured. North Korea has been acting out in order to get what they want to have like resuming the six-nation talk. But their attack is not very accurate so it fired citizens' houses or properties. I'm so sad that Korean solders died. Korea has mandatory military service system so every man has to go to the military. They are just somebody's son, husband, or brother. The person who died from this incident was supposed to be discharged in a week but unfortunately he was a victim. I know we will try not to start a war since we don't want to lose anything we have right now. So, this tension would be loose sooner or later.

Hello [이름], Here are the corrections for your composition. Talk to you later! -RJ-   A few days ago, North Korea fired missles to South Korea so two people died and several people were injured.  >>A few days ago, North Korea fired missles toward South Korea which led to the death of two people and several people being injured.  North Korea has been acting out in order to get what they want to have like resuming the six-nation talk.  >>North Korea has been acting out in order to resume the six-nation talk.  But their attack is not very accurate so it fired citizens' houses or properties.  >>But their attack was not very accurate so it damaged citizens' houses and properties.  I'm so sad that Korean solders died. >>I'm so sad the Korean solders had to die.Korea has mandatory military service system so every man has to go to the military. >>correct  They are just somebody's son, husband, or brother.  >>correct The person who died from this incident was supposed to be discharged in a week but unfortunately he was a victim. >>correct I know we will try not to start a war since we don't want to lose anything we have right now.  >>correct So, this tension would be loose sooner or later. >>So, this tension would be gone sooner or later.