Nowadays a few people take their family with them abroad whenever they go on a business trip. What a
학생이 쓴 원문
There are few chances to go abroad on a business trip for me . Because I am working in the hospital as a technician. I had few chances to go abroad for attending the conference before. I went there alone because of the burden of travel expenses. If I take my family to abroad, it will cost a lot from airfare, accommodation fee to food expenses. People usually would like to spend their time with their family. Business trip would be the best chance for them having great time with their family. Only one thing can be the concern for them. If company provide enough money, there is no wonder having a trip with family. However, if I need to go on a business trip, I would go there alone because I would be busy to work, meet people and so on. And I want to spend time only for me. I feel like fed up taking care of my children so, I need time for refresh. The business is not family trip. I would like to focus on what I do and I would rather having family trip, if I want to enjoy with my family.
강사 첨삭
Hi there Mr. [이름]~! Thanks for doing your essay~! ^^ I guess you\'re not busy today. :D Keep it up. Enjoy writing.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
There are few chances to go abroad on a business trip for me.
>>> I have a few chances to go on a business trip abroad.
Because I am working in the hospital as a technician.
>>> CORRECT
I had few chances to go abroad for attending the conference before.
>>> I had a few chances to go abroad to attend conferences before.
I went there alone because of the burden of travel expenses.
>>> I traveled alone because too much expenses.
If I take my family to abroad, it will cost a lot from airfare, accommodation fee to food expenses.
>>> If I take my family abroad, it will cost us a lot, from the airline fare, accommodation fees and food expenses.
People usually would like to spend their time with their family.
>>> CORRECT
Business trips would be the best chance for them to have a great time with their family.
>>> CORRECT
Only one thing can be the concern for them.
>>> There\'s only one thing that they can be concerned of.
If company provide enough money, there is no wonder having a trip with family.
>>> If companies provide enough money, there is no need for the family to move abroad.
However, if I need to go on a business trip, I would go there alone because I would be busy working, meeting people and so on.
>>> CORRECT
And I want to spend time only for me.
>>> And I want to spend time alone.
I feel fed up taking care of my children so, I need time for refreshments.
>>> CORRECT
The business is not a family trip.
>>> CORRECT
I would like to focus on what I do and I would rather have a family trip, if I want to enjoy with my family.
>>> CORRECT
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