Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, how

2021-10-25 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

There are several reason why people get a job. Someone would like to achieve their dream by doing what they like, others want to make money for being happy with their loved family and friends. Employers also want to make more profits that might cause employees\' overlord work. Everybody dream to manage proper work-life balance, but most people don\'t think that it can be accomplished without money. That\'s why many people are willing to do overtime work although, they can\'t enjoy their daily life with loved ones. Our government has implemented few regulations to boost people\'s life. The limitation working hours by 40 in a week is the representative trial. However, There were many people who would like to take overtime duties because they can\'t afford to keep their family without extra income. To solve these problem, companies have to change in positive way such as provide more annual leave, raise salary per hour and give extra money in special days like summer vacation.

강사 첨삭

Good day to you Mr. [이름]! ^^ It\'s nice to have a conversation with you today! I appreciate your essays too! ^^ Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
There are several reason why people get a job. 
>>> There are several reasons why people get a job. 
Someone would like to achieve their dream by doing what they like, others want to make money for being happy with their loved family and friends.
>>> Someone would like to achieve their dreams by doing what they like, others want to make money for being happy with their loved ones and friends.
 Employers also want to make more profits that might cause employees\' overwork. 
>>> CORRECT
Everybody dream to manage proper work-life balance, but most people don\'t think that it can be accomplished without money.
>>> Everybody dreams of managing proper work-life balance, but most people don\'t think that it can\'t be accomplished without money.
 That\'s why many people are willing to do overtime work although, they can\'t enjoy their daily life with their loved ones.
>>> CORRECT
 Our government has implemented a few regulations to boost people\'s life. 
>>> CORRECT
The limitation working hours by 40 in a week is the representative trial.
>>> The limitation of working hours to 40 in a week is the representative trial.
 However, there were many people who would like to take overtime duties because they can\'t afford to keep their family without extra income.
>>> CORRECT
 To solve these problem, companies have to change in positive way such as provide more annual leave, raise salary per hour and give extra money in special days like summer vacation.
>>>  To solve this problem, companies have to change in a positive way such as providing more annual leave, raising salary per hour and giving extra money on special days like summer vacation.

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