Nowadays people’s life is changing rapidly and, as a result, family relationships are affected. Do t

2020-10-16 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

People\'s life have been changed a lot since the smartphone invented. There are also changes around people such as small family, the population increased who don\'t want to get married and occupations which did\'t exist because of development. As getting old, previous one and memory in childhood look better than now. I miss all experience when I was young which I can\'t do it these day because of environment changes. Koreans are well known for having a close relationship with neighbors. However, people tend to live for only for themselves these day. Family relationship have also changed, we frequently met each other before but we don\'t even make a call to relative. The development of economy makes people have more time and convenient but it cause no conversation with people. People start their day by checking their smartphone and end their day with phone too. We don\'t read a book while we are commuting. Everyone dose something with their smartphone. My children eager to watch video

강사 첨삭

Good day Mr. [이름]~! I miss checking your homework~! ^^ Thanks for your opinions! ^^ Happy weekend!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
People\'s life have been changed a lot since the smartphone invented.
>>>  People\'s life has been changed a lot since the smartphone was invented.
 There are also changes around people such as small family, the population increased who don\'t want to get married and occupations which did\'t exist because of development.
>>>  There are also changes regarding small family planning, high rate of unmarried couples and occupations which didn\'t exist because of this development.
 As getting old, previous one and memory in childhood look better than now.
 >>> Getting older, memories in childhood seem better than now.
 I miss all experience when I was young which I can\'t do it these day because of environment changes.
>>>  I miss all the experiences I had when I was young which I can no longer do these days because of the environmental change.
 Koreans are well known for having a close relationship with neighbors.
>>> CORRECT
 However, people tend to live for only for themselves these day. 
>>>  However, people tend to live only for themselves these days. 
Family relationship have also changed, we frequently met each other before but we don\'t even make a call to relative. 
>>> Family relationship has also changed, we frequently met each other before so we don\'t even make a call to relatives. 
The development of economy makes people have more time and convenient but it causes no conversation among people. 
>>> CORRECT
People start their day by checking their smartphone and end their day with their phones too. 
>>> CORRECT
We don\'t read a book while commuting. 
>>> CORRECT
Everyone does something with their smartphone. 
>>> CORRECT
My children eager to watch videos.
>>> My children are eager to watch some videos.

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