Obama's visit to Hirosima

2016-05-30 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

He didn’t apologize for the usage of nuclear weapon in the second world war. I would like to focus the his visit was the first visit to Hiroshima. His visit seems to be a meaningful visit. And the article says that Obama paid tribute the 140.000 people killed by the world’s first atomic bomb attack and sought to bring global attention. He dreamed the world without the nuclear weapons. And he has been trying to reduce number of the nuclear weapons. Early Obama presidency, He revealed the number of the U.S. nuclear weapons to the world and persuaded other country where has nuclear weapons such as Russia, China and U.S. allies. Even though, He did not fulfill his dream of the world without nuclear weapons. His efforts deserve to be evaluated good. And I am sure that his effort to decrease the number of nuclear weapons will be praised.

강사 첨삭

Hello, Mr. [Name]! ^^ Thank you very much for sharing this news and giving out your opinion regarding this matter. I\'ve seen this same news on television and I think President Obama is a courageous man. He was the first president to pay respects to the victims of the nuclear bombing incident in Hiroshima. That action says a lot about him as a person. He didn\'t have to go but he still did. He said that when a country is at war, it\'s leader should sometimes make difficult decisions. He believed that the launching of an atomic bomb to Hiroshima was a very difficult decision to make. It was, as he mentioned, \'a means to an end\'. Although he did not apologize to the Japanese people, his empathy towards the victims was something worth applauding. I hope you\'re having a great day. See you again tomorrow. ~Teacher Charry ^^ He didn’t apologize for the usage of nuclear weapon in the Second World War. >> He didn’t apologize for the usage of a nuclear weapon in the second world war. I would like to focus the his visit was the first visit to Hiroshima. >> I would like to focus on his first visit to Hiroshima. His visit seems to be a meaningful visit. >> CORRECT! OR >> His visit to Hiroshima appearedto be a meaningful one. And the article says that Obama paid tribute the 140.000 people killed by the world’s first atomic bomb attack and sought to bring global attention. >> In addition to that, the article says that Obama paid tribute to the 140,000 people killed by the world’s first atomic bomb attack and sought to bring global attention.He dreamed the world without the nuclear weapons. >> He dreamed of a world without nuclear weapons. And he has been trying to reduce number of the nuclear weapons. >> And he has been trying to reduce the number of nuclear weapons around the world. Early Obama presidency, He revealed the number of the U.S. nuclear weapons to the world and persuaded other country where has nuclear weapons such as Russia, China and U.S. allies. >> Earlier in Obama\'s presidency, he revealed the number of nuclear weapons the U.S had to the world and persuaded other countries with nuclear weapons such as Russia, China and other U.S. allies to reveal theirs.Even though, He did not fulfill his dream of the world without nuclear weapons. >> Even though, he did not fulfill his dream of having a world without nuclear weapons, his efforts deserve to be evaluated as good. And I am sure that his effort to decrease the number of nuclear weapons will be praised. >> CORRECT! OR >> I am sure that his effort to decrease the number of nuclear weapons will be praised.

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