Ocean Worlld

Last Sunday my friends,I and my mom went to the HongCheon,Gangwon Province.We went to the ocean World.We enjoyed and we played at OceanWorld for 4hours.And I like the warm swimming pool.It was great.After went to Ocean World, we bought the icecreamcake at the Baskinrabbince.Because it is my friend's birthday.Then,we went to the hotel and ate a lot of meat and ate ice cream.We played smartphone game too.At the evening we went to the sining room and sang almost 15song.Then, we slept at the hotel.Next day was really worst day in this November.Yesterday, I ate meat for breakfast.And we came out to the hotel.I played the baseball and my friends mother scolded me.And I didn't enjoy take a photo.We came back home at 2:30 afternoon.My friends to go another resturant and I want to eat at "taste good food"restaurant.Finally, I went to another restuarant that I hate.I was so tired when I came back home.And at evening, there were a accident.My mom scold me for three hours and mom and I fought.

Hi [이름]!How are you? Thank you for sharing this story with me.I had mixed emotions while reading your essay. I was glad that you enjoyed your trip to Ocean World but I became sad when I read that you and your mom fought.I am also curious about the accident you were talking about. Did the accident happen to you? If so, are you okay?I would like to hear more of your story the next time we speak.I really do hope that you are okay and that you and your mom had stopped fighting. I\'ll talk to you soon.~~Teacher KrisBy the way, here are my corrections for your essay: ^^Last Sunday my friends,I and my mom went to the HongCheon,Gangwon Province.>> Last Sunday, I went to Hongcheon, Gangwon Province with my friends and my mom.We went to the ocean World.>> We went to Ocean World.We enjoyed and we played at OceanWorld for 4hours.>> We played at Ocean World for four hours and we enjoyed it.And I like the warm swimming pool.>> I liked the warm swimming pool.It was great.>> Correct.After went to Ocean World, we bought the icecreamcake at the Baskinrabbince.Because it is my friend\'s birthday.>> After our trip to Ocean World, we bought an ice cream cake at the Baskinrabbince because it was my friend\'s birthday.Then,we went to the hotel and ate a lot of meat and ate ice cream.>> Then, we went to the hotel and ate a lot of meat, and ice cream as well.We played smartphone game too.>> We played a smartphone game too.At the evening we went to the sining room and sang almost 15song.>> In the evening, we went to a singing room and sang almost 15 songs.Then, we slept at the hotel.>> Correct.>> OR: Then, we went back to the hotel and slept.Next day was really worst day in this November.>> The next day was really the worst day of my November. Yesterday, I ate meat for breakfast.And we came out to the hotel.>> Yesterday, I ate meat for breakfast and then, we came out of the hotel.>> Or: Yesterday, I ate meat for breakfast and then, we checked out of the hotel.I played the baseball and my friends mother scolded me.>> I played baseball with my friends and then, my friend\'s mother started to scold me.And I didn\'t enjoy take a photo.>> I didn\'t enjoy taking a photo.We came back home at 2:30 afternoon.>> We arrived back home at 2:30 in the afternoon.My friends to go another resturant and I want to eat at \"taste good food\"restaurant.>> My friends wanted to go to a restaurant, but I wanted to eat at \"taste good food\" restaurant.Finally, I went to another restuarant that I hate.>> Finally, I went to a restaurant that I hate.I was so tired when I came back home.>> CorrectAnd at evening, there were a accident.>> In the evening, there was an accident.My mom scold me for three hours and mom and I fought.>> My mom scolded me for three hours and we fought.