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2022-05-09 · 첨삭 강사 Aki

학생이 쓴 원문

Politicians are dividing the people into men and women. Their purpose is only one to win in the elections. Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women. But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior. It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon, Ms. [이름]!
Thank  you for allowing me to read your thought today. Keep writing to develop your skill.
Have a great day!
T. Aki~
Politicians are dividing the people into men and women.
>>> CORRECT!
Their purpose is only one to win in the elections.
>>> Their purpose is only to win the elections.
Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and by men and women.
>>> Several policies let increase conflicts by generation and between men and women.
But venting their complaint theough anline is not a democratic behavior.
>>> But venting their complaint online is not democratic behavior.
It seem to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.
>>> It seems to be collective selfishness and a kind of victimization.

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