Opic step 1

2019-07-23 · 첨삭 강사 Gray

학생이 쓴 원문

I am [Name] [이름]. I will be turning 25 years old this coming October. I was born and raised in [이름]ju for 17 years and rasied in Incheon for 7 years. I am currently a senior majoring in Public Administration. Because My university is located in Sejong, I live in a small studio with my friend near the university. I am currently employed as a intern in a Government Employees Pension Service for couple of months. I have been extremely interested in customer satisfaction and that’s why I chose to work in this field. I hope to work in the field which try to creat social value and I want to spread it out across the country.

강사 첨삭

I am [Name] [이름]. I will be turning 25 years old this coming October.

>> CORRECT

I was born and raised in [이름]ju for 17 years and rasied in Incheon for 7 years.

>> I was born and raised in [이름]ju for 17 years and raised in Incheon for 7 years.

I am currently a senior majoring in Public Administration.

>> I am currently a senior, majoring in Public Administration.

Because My university is located in Sejong, I live in a small studio with my friend near the university.

>> Because, My university is located in Sejong, I live in a small studio with my friend near the university.

I am currently employed as a intern in a Government Employees Pension Service for couple of months.

>> I am currently employed as an intern in a Government Employees Pension Service for a couple of months.

I have been extremely interested in customer satisfaction and that’s why I chose to work in this field.

>> CORRECT

I hope to work in the field which try to creat social value and I want to spread it out across the country.

>> I hope to work in the field that tries to create social values and I want to spread it out across the country.

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