People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a negative development.

2023-12-28 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and appropriate time. Then it could be a positive development. However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don\'t need to remember friends\' phone numbers.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Ji [이름]~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework! Enjoy learning spoken and written English! Way to go!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and in appropriate time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then it could be a positive development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
>>>  However, self-regulating their time of usage is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don\'t need to remember friends\' phone numbers.
>>> So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our  memory skills could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don\'t need to remember our friends\' phone numbers.

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