perfect day1

I will talk about my perfect day. When I was a child, I suffer from atopic dermatitis. So, I feel itchy all over and my mind is uncomfortable. Doctor said,”As I grow older, itching will get better. But, uncertainty of mind needs efforts.” Someday, I watched TV. And there, raising a dog is good for keeping stability. So, I decided to raise a dog. But, my parents opposed to raising a puppy because its fur is not good for the health and may cause skin troubles and nasal inflammation. So, I suggested it to my parents. I haggled with them that if I get an average point of 10 points or above, they would agree for me to raise a dog.

Nice composition you have in here Ji Hee. I hope you keep it up! Please pay particular attention to your grammar as usual. Have a great day! I will talk about my perfect day. >>Correct.When I was a child, I suffer from atopic dermatitis. So, I feel itchy all over and my mind is uncomfortable. >>When I was a child, I suffered from Atopic Dermatitis so I felt itchy all over and I felt so uncomfortable. Doctor said,”As I grow older, itching will get better. >>The doctor said, as I’ll grow older, the itching will be eased. But, uncertainty of mind needs efforts.” >>But, about the psychological impact is uncertain.  Someday, I watched TV. And there, raising a dog is good for keeping stability. >>One day, I watched on TV that raising a dog is good for emotional stability. So, I decided to raise a dog. >>Correct.But, my parents opposed to raising a puppy because its fur is not good for the health and may cause skin troubles and nasal inflammation. >>But, my parents opposed to the idea of raising a puppy since its fur is not good for the health and may cause skin trouble and nasal inflammation.  So, I suggested it to my parents. >>Correct. I haggled with them that if I get an average point of 10 points or above, they would agree for me to raise a dog. >>Correct.