physical health vs mental health
학생이 쓴 원문
When it comes to physical health vs mental health, there is a famous quote \"a sound mind is in a sound body\". I totally agree. On the other hand, I think a sound body can come from a sound mind too. When I\'m energetic I can have a mind to cope with any difficulties. It\'s normal. If i\'m weak or get sick, it can be hard to keep a good thinking, but this isn\'t impossible like a novel \'last leaf\' written by O.Henry. Hope, good thinking can make someone heal. This isn\'t only in the novel, in our real life that can be happen from time to time. A mind affect a body, a body affect a mind. Then.. in my experience, body health is more important. If I\'m exhausted physically, I have a hard time to keep enthusiasm, even I ignore my daily responsibilities, I can become a bad, rude and lazy person. So I try to stay a good condition of my body. Sometimes I hike a long distance, I feel alive after this hiking. The stronger my legs are, the clearer and wiser my mind is, and better my life is.
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름]!
Thank you for submitting your essay. I totally agree with you while reading your thoughts about the connection between physical and mental health.
Also, I made some corrections to help your sentences sound more natural and clear. ^^
Again, thank you and have a nice weekend. ^^
~ Teacher Gina
When it comes to physical health vs mental health, there is a famous quote \"a sound mind is in a sound body\".
>> When it comes to physical health versus mental health, there is a famous quote: “A sound mind is in a sound body.”
I totally agree.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: I completely agree with it.
On the other hand, I think a sound body can come from a sound mind too.
>> CORRECT.
When I\'m energetic I can have a mind to cope with any difficulties.
>> When I\'m energetic, I can have a sound mind to cope with any difficulties.
It\'s normal.
>> CORRECT.
If i\'m weak or get sick, it can be hard to keep a good thinking, but this isn\'t impossible like a novel \'last leaf\' written by O.Henry.
>> If I’m weak or get sick, it can be hard to maintain positive thinking, but this isn’t impossible, as shown in the novel The Last Leaf by O. Henry.
Hope, good thinking can make someone heal.
>> Hope and good or positive thinking can make someone heal.
This isn\'t only in the novel, in our real life that can be happen from time to time.
>> This doesn’t only happen in novels; it can also happen in real life from time to time.
A mind affect a body, a body affect a mind.
>> The mind affects the body, and the body affects the mind.
Then.. in my experience, body health is more important.
>> Then, in my experience, physical health is more important.
>> Or: Then, in my experience, body is more important.
If I\'m exhausted physically, I have a hard time to keep enthusiasm, even I ignore my daily responsibilities, I can become a bad, rude and lazy person.
>> If I’m physically exhausted, I have a hard time maintaining enthusiasm, and I may even ignore my daily responsibilities and become a rude and lazy person.
So I try to stay a good condition of my body.
>> So I try to keep my body in good condition.
Sometimes I hike a long distance, I feel alive after this hiking.
>> Sometimes I hike long distances, and I feel alive afterward.
The stronger my legs are, the clearer and wiser my mind is, and better my life is.
>> The stronger my legs are, the clearer and wiser my mind is, and the better my life is.
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