pilgrimage2
학생이 쓴 원문
Korea is the only country where accept Catholic church without missionary.
Scholars in Korea accept Catholic doctrine as a study at first time.
But more they study more they know Jesus's love, And they realize his teaching was perpect theory for their society.
The number of believer increased dramatically. Catholic became the center of people's change. Some christian insisted and implemented the abolition of the caste system. But, Ruling Joseon Dynasty's politician didn't want to lose their vested right. So, They started persecuting Catholic christians.
In 1801, more than 300 people were killed as the ruling Joseon Dynasty.
This beautiful place like the garden of Eden was the execution ground.
The blood of martyrs seeded this ground and this seed bear lots of fruits
We listen a lecture from a priest who charge in the shrine we visited.
It was a memorable moment.
강사 첨삭
Hello, Mr. [Name]! ^^
How\'s your Monday so far?
Thank you for writing in our composition board.
I\'m happy to know that people in Korea today could freely express their religions and beliefs.
There are still some nations who persecute people who try to express their faith and it\'s sad.
Everyday, I realize how lucky I am to be able to freely serve the God that I believe in.
I\'m really moved and amazed with your deep faith.
Maybe that\'s why God has answered your prayers.
You truly deserve the certification granted to you.
I hope that this milestone would deepen your belief and faith more.
Nothing is really impossible with God.
I hope you\'re having a great day.
I\'ll see you tomorrow.
~Teacher Charry
Korea is the only country where accept Catholic church without missionary.
>> Korea is the only country where the Catholic church was accepted without missionaries.
Scholars in Korea accept Catholic doctrine as a study at first time.
>> Scholars in Korea accepted the Catholic doctrine as a new form of study for the first time.
But more they study more they know Jesus\'s love, And they realize his teaching was perpect theory for their society.
>> But the more that they study and the more that they come to know about Jesus\'s love, they realize that his teaching was a perfect form of worship for their society.
The number of believer increased dramatically.
>> The number of believers increased dramatically.
Catholic became the center of people\'s change.
>> Catholicism became the center of people\'s change.
Some christian insisted and implemented the abolition of the caste system.
>> Some Christians insisted the implementation of the abolition of the caste system.
But, Ruling Joseon Dynasty\'s politician didn\'t want to lose their vested right.
>> But the ruling Joseon Dynasty\'s politicians didn\'t want to lose their vested right.
OR >> But the rulers/politicians of the Joseon Dynasty didn\'t want to lose their vested right.
So, They started persecuting Catholic christians.
>> So, They started persecuting Catholic Christians.
In 1801, more than 300 people were killed as the ruling Joseon Dynasty.
>> In 1801, more than 300 people were killed by the ruling Joseon Dynasty.
This beautiful place like the garden of Eden was the execution ground.
>> This beautiful place, like the garden of Eden was the execution ground.
The blood of martyrs seeded this ground and this seed bear lots of fruits
>> The blood of martyrs seeded this ground and this seed bore lots of fruits
We listen a lecture from a priest who charge in the shrine we visited.
>> We listened to the lecture of the priest who is in-charge of the shrine we visited.
It was a memorable moment.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> It was a memorable time for me.
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