Plastic surgery 2

2015-11-02 · 첨삭 강사 Kathrine

학생이 쓴 원문

Having plastic surgery is not a problem but the mess media that is boosting having plastic surgery. And If some one have happy through plastic surgery. Why it is bad? For example, we can watch a lot of TV commercial about foods that is not good for our health such as oiled food , Coke , junk food and so on. But people who are watching this kind of ads right to make a decision to eat or not. Like this, Having plastic surgery is a totally personal choice. I also totally agree with that. We have a right to decide how we live in our life. And I think that if a job seekers can grip good chance to work in good position through plastic surgery, Why not? When it comes to Plastic surgery, It is on the personal choice.

강사 첨삭

Having plastic surgery is not a problem but the mess media that is boosting having plastic surgery. 

>> Having plastic surgery is not a problem but the mass media which is boosting on having plastic surgery. 
 And If some one have happy through plastic surgery. Why it is bad?
>> 
And If some one is happy through plastic surgery. Why it is bad?
For example, we can watch a lot of TV commercial about foods that is not good for our health such as oiled food , Coke , junk food and so on.
>> 
For example, we can watch a lot of TV commercials about foods which  are not good to our health such as oily  and fatty foods , Coke , junk food and so on.
 But people who are watching this kind of ads right to make a decision to eat or not.

>> But people who are watching these kind of ads  have the right to make a decision to eat it or not.
 Like this, Having plastic surgery is a totally personal choice.
>> 
 Like this, Having a plastic surgery is totally a personal choice.
I also totally agree with that.

>> correct!

We have a right to decide how we live in our life.

>> We have the right to decide how we live our lives.
 And I think that if a job seekers can grip good chance to work in good position through plastic surgery, Why not?
>> 
And I think that if a job seeker can grip a good chance to work in good position through plastic surgery, Why not?
When it comes to Plastic surgery, It is on the personal choice.

>>   correct! 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·