please check my sentence.

2022-07-21 · 첨삭 강사 Kristine

학생이 쓴 원문

Q1. What is the best thing you felt after joining Bybit and what needs to be improved? After joining Bybit, I was able to adapt quickly with the help of friendly team members. I have good teamwork with the team members who helped me adapt. It can be said that our team\'s strength is good teamwork. I will think about the need for improvement. There is a lot of confusion in working because there are a lot of personnel adjustments in Bybit. I hope this point will be improved Q2. Are you satisfied with your current team work and your task? Are you willing to continue to develop? Yes, I am very satisfied. I am so happy that my ability can contribute to the company after joining the company. I also love that there are team members and systems that I can learn. I will try to contribute to the team and the company by actively utilizing the system in Bybit.

강사 첨삭

Hey there, [이름] [이름]!

Thanks for writing today. I hope this will help you. Have a nice day! 

- Kristine ^^

Q1. What is the best thing you felt after joining Bybit and what needs to be improved?
>> Correct
After joining Bybit, I was able to adapt quickly with the help of friendly team members.

>> After joining Bybit, I was able to adapt quickly with the help of my friendly team members.

I have good teamwork with the team members who helped me adapt.

>> I work well with my team members who helped me in adapting.

It can be said that our team\'s strength is good teamwork.

>> Good teamwork is our team\'s greatest strength.

I will think about the need for improvement.

>> I will think about other things that require improvement.

There is a lot of confusion in working because there are a lot of personnel adjustments in Bybit.

>> There is a lot of confusion at work because of many personnel adjustments in Bybit.

I hope this point will be improved
>> I hope this point will be improved.
Q2. Are you satisfied with your current team work and your task? Are you willing to continue to develop?
>> Are you satisfied with your current teamwork and your task? Are you willing to continue to develop?
Yes, I am very satisfied.

>> Correct

I am so happy that my ability can contribute to the company after joining the company.

>> I am so happy that, after joining the company, I can use my skills to help the organization.

I also love that there are team members and systems that I can learn.

>> I also appreciate that I can learn from my team members and the systems.

I will try to contribute to the team and the company by actively utilizing the system in Bybit.

>> I will try to contribute to the team and to the company, by actively utilizing the system in Bybit.


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