Please profeeding my essay...

Hello there, Ji Yu!^^
Thank you for sharing your stories again

here in your composition!^^

Hey just to let you know, we are holding an

Easter Egg Designing competition here in Power English.

If you have time, go to the website and vote for the best design

that you can see!^^ Those are made by teachers. However, I

can\'t tell you which one is mine!^^

Just vote for your best choice!

See you!
~~Teacher Erine~~

And the other mentee who wants to be a hotelier always concentrated in my classes and asked questions.

>> Correct

Although she got a bad grade during the middle exams, she studied more and got good grades that she wanted in the final exam. 

>> Correct

Most of Korea students have an ardor of study however job satisfaction and happiness exponent are too low.

>> Most Korean students have an ardor of studying however, job satisfaction and happiness exponent are too low.

About 60% students are not satisfied with their career education.

>> Correct

And most of schools`s career class are only once a week.

>> And most schools\' career classes are only once a week.

That meant many classes in middle school progressed in wrong ways.

>> That results to many classes in middle school to progress in wrong ways.

According to a survey, students want to learn occupational information in conformity with change of society.

>> Correct
Thus, these days, it is increasing to get more information with the career education.

>> Thus, these days, to get more information about career education is increasing.

Beacause the government legislated the law about it on 22th, June, 2015.

>> Because the government legalized it on 22nd of June, 2015.
We will get more chances to visit on the spot, meet specialists and get to know detailed.

>> We will get more chances to visit and meet specialists on spot and get details.

I hope more children know their interests and choose their jobs.

>> I hope more children will know their interests and choose their desired jobs.