Please proofread my essay one more....

Hello, my dear Ji Yu!

I\'ll send you my message in the other composition!
See  you!
~~Teacher Erine~~

I`m interested in child welfare.

>> Correct

I try to develop my ability to criticize and know exactly about the law.

>> Correct

By writing this essay, I show how important the career education is and know more excatly about awareness of the career education.

>> By writing this essay, I will show how important career education is and know about awareness of career education more exactly.

I realized the importance of the career education last year.

>> I realized the importance of career education last year.

I have two mentees as a mentor.

>> Correct

One mentee didn\'t have the commitment to learn and always got bad grades.

>> Correct

The other mentee has a goal which is to be a hotelier.

>> Correct

Whenever she had a class with me, she talked with her friends and only looked at her cell phone.

>> Correct

I thought that if she had a career, she will study much harder.

>> Correct

As a mentor, I let her know why she has to study.

>> Correct

I just thought there are only two things she like: Yodo and children.

>> I just thought there are only two things she likes: Yodo and children.

I suggested that she can be a Yodo teacher and she also agreed with my opinion.

>> Correct

At the end of my third year as a student, she promised me that she will study more.

>> Correct

And I kept in touch with her.

>> Correct