private cars or public transport
학생이 쓴 원문
We have good transport systems :We can use bus or subway transfer within 30 minutes for free. And essential route can run even the users reduce so the profits go down, because the government support the bus company with taxes that I\'ve given them ahead. Plus the fee is cheap. So many people easily use public transport whenever,wherever they want to go.If private cars reduce,pollution problem can decrease.It can be good things for earth. The other hand the car industry is huge over the world, as long as this companies keep producing their cars and employees make money by this work, private cars will be increased.As I get older, I can see the difficulties that the elderly use public transport.it\'s hard for them to take on a bus get off a bus by themselves.Someone might help them.They would rather take a taxi or a private car.But it isn\'t included in the system.I\'ll be 80\'s,the public transport system would be improved for the elderly or I\'ll want to have power for driving by myself.
강사 첨삭
Hi! Thank you for submitting your answer and for sharing your point of view and observations about the transport systems. I also made some corrections and suggestions in your sentences. ^^
~ Teacher Gina
>> We have good transport systems: We can use bus or subway transfers within 30 minutes for free.
And essential route can run even the users reduce so the profits go down, because the government support the bus company with taxes that I\'ve given them ahead.
>> And essential routes can still run even if the number of commuters reduces and profits fall, because the government supports the bus company with the taxes we had paid.
Plus the fee is cheap.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Plus the fare is cheap.
So many people easily use public transport whenever,wherever they want to go.
>> So many people easily use public transport whenever and wherever they want to go.
If private cars reduce,pollution problem can decrease.
>> If private cars reduce, the pollution problem can decrease.
It can be good things for earth.
>> It can be good things for Earth.
>> Or: It can be beneficial to Earth.
The other hand the car industry is huge over the world, as long as this companies keep producing their cars and employees make money by this work, private cars will be increased.
>> On the other hand, the car industry is huge in the world. As long as these companies keep producing their cars and employees make money, the number of private cars will increase.
As I get older, I can see the difficulties that the elderly use public transport.
>> As I get older, I can see the difficulties that the elderly face in using public transport.
it\'s hard for them to take on a bus get off a bus by themselves.
>> It\'s hard for them to get on and off a bus by themselves.
Someone might help them.
>> CORRECT.
>> Or: Someone needs to help them.
They would rather take a taxi or a private car.
>> CORRECT.
But it isn\'t included in the system.
>> CORRECT.
I\'ll be 80\'s,the public transport system would be improved for the elderly or I\'ll want to have power for driving by myself.
>> By the time I’m in my 80s, I hope the public transport system would be improved for elderlies, or I\'ll want to have the power to drive by myself.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.