Prize, Part 2, #1

2020-11-20 · 첨삭 강사 Jean

학생이 쓴 원문

About five years ago, I received the Strategy and Finance Ministry award in recognition of my contribution. Generally, it\'s not difficult to get awards; however, the one I was given was special and rarely handed out. In fact, only a handful of employees received this award. The prize will be given to institutions and people who have improved government spending efficiency. My accomplishments about the prize were updating the value of time on the working hour and the leisure hour. The value of time makes the project benefits and costs, and finally, it was calculated diverse results about the project approval. It was mainly used in the feasibility study of the transportation facility investment project. One of the positive rewards is to receive some additional points for a promotion in the future.

강사 첨삭

Here\'s your 2nd composition, [이름]!

Cheers,
Jean~~

About five years ago, I received the Strategy and Finance Ministry award in recognition of my contribution. 
>> correct

Generally, it\'s not difficult to get awards; however, the one I was given was special and rarely handed out. 
>> correct

In fact, only a handful of employees received this award.
>> correct

The prize will be given to institutions and people who have improved government spending efficiency. 
>> The prize is given to institutions and people who have improved government spending efficiency. 

My accomplishments about the prize were updating the value of time on the working hour and the leisure hour. 
>> As for my contribution, I was awarded for updating the value of time on the working hour and the leisure hour. 

The value of time makes the project benefits and costs, and finally, it was calculated diverse results about the project approval.
>> [Sorry but I find this confusing.]

 It was mainly used in the feasibility study of the transportation facility investment project.
>> correct

 One of the positive rewards is to receive some additional points for a promotion in the future.
>> One of the incentives included in the award was some additional points for a promotion in the future. 

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