Promoting
학생이 쓴 원문
I want to promote myself. You know what? Most of people don’t know how we are precious. Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.
I’m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. These things always enforce my value. The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.
강사 첨삭
You wrote a touching and reasonable essay, [이름]! May you always see your value as a person. You were created with purpose and uniqueness. For my capitalization tip for you, the pronoun \'I\' should always be capitalized.-Faith-
I want to promote myself. >> CORRECT
You know what?
>> Do you know why?
Most of people don’t know how we are precious.
>> Most people do not know how precious we are.
Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence.
>> Even though we are good at work, they do not value our presence.
I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation.
>> I had also ignored my self until I have started meditation.
Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.
>> However, after doing that, I can tell I have to be proud of myself because I am the most valuable thing to myself.
I’m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading.
>> However, after doing that, I can tell I have to be proud of myself because I am the most valuable thing to myself.
I’m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading.
>> I’m tall, I maintain a good shape, and I always try to develop myself by exercising and reading.
These things always enforce my value.
>> CORRECT
OR These things enlighten me about my worth.
The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.
>> The final step is to be a respectful person so that most people around me like to resemble me.
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