railways
학생이 쓴 원문
I think I need to practice writing 1.....
강사 첨삭
Hi Ye [이름]!
It\'s always good to practice those tasks that you are not comfortable in.
Only you can assess yourself.
Focus on the grammar corrections this time.
Good luck in your future writing!
~~ Teacher Sharon
The table shows that the information of the underground railway systems in different six countries.
>> The table shows information on the underground railway systems in six different countries.
People
can see when the railways were opened, how many kilometres of routes were and number of passengers
per year was through the table.
>> In the table, people can see when the railways were opened, how many kilometres of routes there were and number of passengers per year.
The earliest railway was in London in 1863.
>> The earliest railway was opened in London in 1863.
It was the only railway which was opened in 17 centuary.
>> It was the only railway which was opened in the 17th century.
This
is the reason why the kilometres of route of London’s was the highest number with 394.
>> This is the reason why the kilometres of route of London has the highest number which is 394.
However, it was
not the highest number of passengers per year.
>> Correct
The highest number of passengers per year was the railway
in Tokyo with 1927 million.
>> Correct
It was the late open over 100years from the opened date of London’s railway,
but we can see many people used it every year more than London’s railway.
>> It was over 100 years later from the opening date of London’s railway, but we can see many people used it every year which was more than London’s railway.
The railways in Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles were built quite recently than others and so, the
killometres of route and the number of passenger per year were fewer than the previous railways.
>> The railways in Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles were built quite recently than others and so, the kilometres of route and the number of passengers per year were lower than the older railways.
Interestingly, the kilometres of route and the number or passengers per year of Kyoto’s railway and Kos
Angeles’s railway were extremely fewer than others even though these are the new.
>> Interestingly, the kilometres of route and the numbers of passengers per year of Kyoto’s and Los Angeles\' railways were extremely lower than others even though these are newly opened.
We can notice that
people are less use underground railways than before through this information.
>> We can notice that people use underground railways less often than before through this information.
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