Regarding legalization of drugs
학생이 쓴 원문
I’d like to write an essay about drugs instead of the topic you said on the website
because I want to express my idea more in details with being well-arranged.
You know, 10 min. is too short to express my idea about a topic that suddenly comes out.
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Basically, I disagree with being legitimated on all drugs.
Even marijuana that is classified the weakest drug and it has already been legalized in some countries but I object to it.
Frurthermore, I think alcohol is really as serious as heavy drugs. Korean society is really generous to drinking alcohol too much.
We can easily buy alcohol everywhere for 24 hours with the cheap price even though it is not allowed to sell to minors.
Lastly, I think the best way to quit the drug and alcohol is to go to clinic and talk to experts as quickly as possible.
강사 첨삭
Hi YJ!
You are very careful in writing your sentences.
Just please check on the correct usage of your articles like \'a\' and \'the\'.
Also, be mindful on your spelling of words.
You can do it!
Here my corrections.
Basically, I disagree with being legitimated on all drugs.
>>Basically, I disagree with the legitimization of all kinds of drugs.
Even marijuana that is classified the weakest drug and it has already been legalized in some countries but I object to it.
>>Even marijuana that is classified as the weakest drug and it has already been legalized in some countries but I object to it.
Frurthermore, I think alcohol is really as serious as heavy drugs. Korean society is really generous to drinking alcohol too much.
>>Furthermore, I think alcohol is really as serious as heavy drugs. Korean society is really obsessed in drinking alcohol too much.
We can easily buy alcohol everywhere for 24 hours with the cheap price even though it is not allowed to sell to minors.
>>Correct!
Lastly, I think the best way to quit the drug and alcohol is to go to clinic and talk to experts as quickly as possible.
>> Lastly, I think the best way to quit drugs and alcohol is to go to the clinic and talk to experts as quickly as possible.
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