Religion is good thing but...

2021-11-18 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

When I was born my parents they are alredy christian. And so I am grew up to be a christian naturally. When I was born before to the 23years old, I was a really religious person with strong faith. But suddenly someday, I heard about pastor of my church was a religious was involved in a big crime. After that case, I don\'t believe a religion.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ann :)

Oh, that\'s a sad story. It\'s so upsetting how one person can affect another person\'s faith. He is not worthy to be a pastor at all. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

When I was born my parents they are alredy christian.
>> When I was born, my parents were already Christians. 

And so I am grew up to be a christian naturally.
>> So I grew up in a Christian family naturally. 

When I was born before to the 23years old, I was a really religious person with strong faith.
>> Years before I turned 23, I was a very religious person with strong faith. 

But suddenly someday, I heard about pastor of my church was a religious was involved in a big crime.
>> But suddenly one day, I heard about a pastor, in our church, was involved in a serious crime. 

After that case, I don\'t believe a religion.
>> After that, I lost faith and not believed in religion anymore. 

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