report.
학생이 쓴 원문
please give me corrections.and i must use these words(right out loud,give themselves away, nothing to lose, lest we forget,clinch the agrgument)!
in this paragraph, what I want to mention about is 'June Democracy Movement.
In 1987,korea,many koreans were trying to assert their rights against the government.they wanted to get their voting rights. first, some of intelligent students started to demonstration. they claim right out loud. but the government didn't accept their opinions. and many constabulary forces were shooting tear gas to the students .while resisting an attack. the students gave themselves away.
the students said that he had got nothing to lose for their rights.
their struggle cause every people to arouse the anger against the government.
after all, every people made a democracy ,finally, the government proposed a constitutional amendment and we clinched the argument through June Democracy Movement .lest we forget what how mant students were sacrificed for our rights.
강사 첨삭
Truly it\'s Thursday! (^^,)
The week\'s about to end [이름].
I do hope that you\'re learning a lot in our classes, so far.
Moreover, I also hope that you\'re having fun in our small chit chats.
Thanks for being my student!
XOXO ~
T. Myra
please give me corrections.and i must use these words(right out loud,give themselves away, nothing to lose, lest we forget,clinch the agrgument)!
>>Please give me corrections because I must use the words right out loud, give themselves away, nothing to lose, least we forget, and clinch the argument.
in this paragraph, what I want to mention about is \'June Democracy Movement.
>>In this paragraph, I want to mention about the \'June Democratic Movement.
In 1987,korea,many koreans were trying to assert their rights against the government.
>>In 1987, many Koreans were trying to assert their rights against the government.
they wanted to get their voting rights.
>>CORRECT
BETTER: They wanted to get their voting rights.
first, some of intelligent students started to demonstration.
>> There were movements from the people. First, some intelligent students started to demonstrate.
they claim right out loud.
>>They claimed right out loud.
but the government didn\'t accept their opinions and many constabulary forces were shooting tear gas to the students .while resisting an attack.
>> But, the government didn\'t accept their opinions and many constabulary forces were shooting tear gas to the students while resisting the attack.
the students gave themselves away.
>>CORRECT
OR>> The students gave in.
the students said that he had got nothing to lose for their rights.
>>The students said that they got nothing to lose for their rights.
their struggle cause every people to arouse the anger against the government.
>>Their struggles caused every people to arouse the anger against the government.
after all, every people made a democracy ,finally, the government proposed a constitutional amendment and we clinched the argument through June Democracy Movement .
>>After all, every people created democracy. Finally, the government proposed a constitutional amendment and we clinched the argument through the June Democratic Movement.
lest we forget what how mant students were sacrificed for our rights.
>>Least we forget what how many students sacrificed for our rights.
The week\'s about to end [이름].
I do hope that you\'re learning a lot in our classes, so far.
Moreover, I also hope that you\'re having fun in our small chit chats.
Thanks for being my student!
XOXO ~
T. Myra
please give me corrections.and i must use these words(right out loud,give themselves away, nothing to lose, lest we forget,clinch the agrgument)!
>>Please give me corrections because I must use the words right out loud, give themselves away, nothing to lose, least we forget, and clinch the argument.
in this paragraph, what I want to mention about is \'June Democracy Movement.
>>In this paragraph, I want to mention about the \'June Democratic Movement.
In 1987,korea,many koreans were trying to assert their rights against the government.
>>In 1987, many Koreans were trying to assert their rights against the government.
they wanted to get their voting rights.
>>CORRECT
BETTER: They wanted to get their voting rights.
first, some of intelligent students started to demonstration.
>> There were movements from the people. First, some intelligent students started to demonstrate.
they claim right out loud.
>>They claimed right out loud.
but the government didn\'t accept their opinions and many constabulary forces were shooting tear gas to the students .while resisting an attack.
>> But, the government didn\'t accept their opinions and many constabulary forces were shooting tear gas to the students while resisting the attack.
the students gave themselves away.
>>CORRECT
OR>> The students gave in.
the students said that he had got nothing to lose for their rights.
>>The students said that they got nothing to lose for their rights.
their struggle cause every people to arouse the anger against the government.
>>Their struggles caused every people to arouse the anger against the government.
after all, every people made a democracy ,finally, the government proposed a constitutional amendment and we clinched the argument through June Democracy Movement .
>>After all, every people created democracy. Finally, the government proposed a constitutional amendment and we clinched the argument through the June Democratic Movement.
lest we forget what how mant students were sacrificed for our rights.
>>Least we forget what how many students sacrificed for our rights.
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