Royal Family

2021-03-31 · 첨삭 강사 Jean

학생이 쓴 원문

Theme: [ESSAY] What\'s your thought on royal families in modern times? 1st, I don\'t like social status discriminations. 2cd, I don\'t know many about modern times. 3rd, I think that royal families in modern times were felt so good. 4th, But I don\'t like social status discriminations.

강사 첨삭

Here\'s your corrected composition, [이름]. Thanks for sending it!

Cheers, 
Jean~~


                   Theme: [ESSAY] What\'s your thought on royal families in modern times?


1st, I don\'t like social status discriminations.
>> 1st, I don\'t like social status discrimination. [Note that in formal writing, it\'s better to write the full word \"first\".]
>> OR: First, I don\'t like discrimination caused by social status differences. 

2cd, I don\'t know many about modern times.
>> 2nd, I don\'t know much about royalties in modern times. [Mind your spelling of the  word \"2nd\".]
>> Second, I don\'t know much about royal families in modern times.

3rd, I think that royal families in modern times were felt so good.
>> Third, I think that being a member of a royal family in modern times were felt so good.

4th, But I don\'t like social status discriminations.
>> Fourth, I\'d like to emphasize my 1st point which is, I don\'t like social status discrimination.

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