Save money for a future
학생이 쓴 원문
In Korea, it is very controversial topic and many people have different opinions about it. First of all, I think we have to save the money for our future. People who are insisting that we have to spend money when we earn it use \"YOLO\". It is \"you only live once\" and I also agree with this statement, so it is important to enjoy every moment. But there is also a big happiness when we are preparing something for the future. For example, before we go to a trip, it is very exciting to pack stuff. Of course, while we are travelling, it is so good, but I think all of preparing processes are more exciting. Like this, we can get happy by preparing our future like saving the money. Because of this, I think we have to save some money for just in case.
강사 첨삭
1. In Korea, it is very controversial topic and many people have different opinions about it.
>>In Korea, it is a very controversial topic and many people have different opinions about it.
2. First of all, I think we have to save the money for our future.
>>First of all, I think we have to save the money for our future.
3. People who are insisting that we have to spend money when we earn it use \"YOLO\".
>>People who are insisting that we have to spend our money as we earn it believe in \"YOLO\".
4. It is \"you only live once\" and I also agree with this statement, so it is important to enjoy every moment.
>>It means \"You only live once.\" and I also agree with this statement, so , it is important to enjoy every moment.
5. But there is also a big happiness when we are preparing something for the future.
>>But there is also a bigger happiness when we are preparing something for the future.
6. For example, before we go to a trip, it is very exciting to pack stuff.
>>CORRECT
OR>>For example, before we go on a trip, it is very exciting to pack stuff.
7. Of course, while we are travelling, it is so good, but I think all of preparing processes are more exciting.
>>Of course, while we are travelling, it is so good, but I think all of the preparations are more exciting.
8. Like this, we can get happy by preparing our future like saving the money.
>>Like this, we can be happy by preparing our future like saving our money.
9. Because of this, I think we have to save some money for just in case.
>>Because of this, I think we have to save some money just in case.
Good thought.
- T. Melody ^^
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