school exercise program and obesity of children

2017-07-20 · 첨삭 강사 Travis

학생이 쓴 원문

Extending school exercise program is one of a good solutions of solving child obesity problem but it can not solve the issue itself. Obesity is caused by many reason, lack of exercise is just one of it. So we should settle this matter in varied ways. Moreover, adding more sports class need more budget, place and manpower, therefore schools in impoverished region are not able to handle it without central government's help. So we should start this with other solutions(which is easier and faster to achieve, like educating nutritional factors) and invest more to schools so that they can afford this solution.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!

I agree with you, exercise in school is a must. We should focus on this.

Teacher Travis.

Extending school exercise program is one of a good solutions of solving child obesity problem but it can not solve the issue itself.

>>Correct.

Obesity is caused by many reason, lack of exercise is just one of it.

>>Correct.

>>OR: Lack of exercise is one of the many reason of obesity.

So we should settle this matter in varied ways.

>>Correct.

Moreover, adding more sports class need more budget, place and manpower, therefore schools in impoverished region are not able to handle it without central government\'s help.

>>Correct.

So we should start this with other solutions(which is easier and faster to achieve, like educating nutritional factors) and invest more to schools so that they can afford this solution.

>>Correct.

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