script

2019-12-10 · 첨삭 강사 Ysabelle

학생이 쓴 원문

First of all I really appreciate this honor to get a chance having interview today I am [이름] Yoon [이름] who apply for installation technology in ThyssenKrupp Elevator Korea. I studied fusion electronic and urban engineering in hanyang university. learning my major, I was interested in electricity that made by coils and magnets. So I aimed to become an electric engineer. After I obtained license of engineer electricity, I felt that I need a practical experience in electricity field. So I have worked at Korea Electric Safety Coporation. I want to work for the development of the company that leads the industry with my job expertise. Thyssenkrupp elevator, which leads the elevator industry with unique technology, is the number one company I would like to join to work with pride. Now I am ready to work at Thyssenkrupp elevator Korea Thank you for listening my speech

강사 첨삭

Hello there Jason!
Thank you for sending me your script! 
I\'ll do my best to check it.
Enjoy your day~


First of all I really appreciate this honor to get a chance having interview today
>>First of all, it\'s an honor to have this chance to have this interview.

I am [이름] Yoon [이름] who apply for installation technology in ThyssenKrupp Elevator Korea.
>>I am [이름] Yoon [이름] and I am applying for the installation technology position in ThyssenKrupp Elevator Korea.

I studied fusion electronic and urban engineering in hanyang university.
>>I studied Fusion Electronics and Urban Engineering in Hanyang University.

 learning my major, I was interested in electricity that made by coils and magnets. 
>>I am interested in electricity made by coils and magnets because of this major.

So, I aimed to become an electric engineer. 
>CORRECT

After I obtained license of engineer electricity, I felt that I need a practical experience in electricity field. 
>>After obtaining the Electrical Engineer license, I felt the need of having a practical experience in the electricity field.

So I have worked at Korea Electric Safety Coporation.
>>So, I worked in Korea Electric Safety Corporation.

I want to work for the development of the company that leads the industry with my job expertise.
>>I want to contribute in the development of the company with my job expertise and exceptional skills.

Thyssenkrupp elevator, which leads the elevator industry with unique technology, is the number one company I would like to join to work with pride.
>>I think that ThyssenKrupp Elevator is a company that leads the elevator industry with its unique technology and is the top company I would proudly work with.

Now I am ready to work at Thyssenkrupp elevator Korea
>>I can say that I am now ready to work with ThyssenKrupp Elevator Korea.

Thank you for listening my speech
>>That is all, thank you.

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