Sermon 1

2021-11-14 · 첨삭 강사 Faith

학생이 쓴 원문

About a week ago, we all know that I officiated a funeral for a lifelong member, Allen Crowder. We know that he was a lifelong member of Henderson UMC. He was a good friend, husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, and great great grandfather. Also, he was a good Christian. I committed his life to the church, here at Henderson UMC. I heard that he sincerely did everything with his efforts, time, energy, etc. We were so saddened to hear the news of his death. It is because this news is all about a huge loss of Henderson. Death is hard to accept as reality. We all need time and space to grieve someone we love when they die. May memories come to our minds as we think of our loved one who passed away. But at the same time, it is a wonderful gift and opportunity that we are able to celebrate one’s life together in the name of Christ. As I was preparing today’s sermon and thinking of Allen’s life, a Bible passage came to my mind. Allen Crowder finished his course of faith journey

강사 첨삭

Hello, Han! I will still be working for the next two copies of your sermon. Just hang on there!-Faith-
About a week ago, we all know that I officiated a funeral for a lifelong member, Allen Crowder. 
>> About a week ago, as we all know, I officiated a burial service for our brother, Allen Crowder. 
We know that he was a lifelong member of Henderson UMC. 
>> CORRECT
He was a good friend, husband, father, grandfather, great grandfather, and great great grandfather. 
>> CORRECT
Also, he was a good Christian. 
>> CORRECT
OR Most importantly, he was also a good and faithful Christian. 
I committed his life to the church, here at Henderson UMC. 
>> He committed his life to the church and to Christ here at Henderson UMC. 
I heard that he sincerely did everything with his efforts, time, energy, etc. 
>> CORRECT
OR I heard that he dedicated his efforts, time, energy, and whatnots to serve. 
We were so saddened to hear the news of his death. 
>> CORRECT
It is because this news is all about a huge loss of Henderson.
>> It is because this news was a huge loss of Henderson.
Death is hard to accept as reality. 
>> CORRECT
We all need time and space to grieve someone we love when they die. 
>> We all need time and space to grieve for someone we love when they die. 
May memories come to our minds as we think of our loved one who passed away.
>> May wonderful memories come to our minds as we think of our loved ones who passed away.
But at the same time, it is a wonderful gift and opportunity that we are able to celebrate one’s life together in the name of Christ. 
>> CORRECT
As I was preparing today’s sermon and thinking of Allen’s life, a Bible passage came to my mind. 
>> CORRECT
Allen Crowder finished his course of faith journey
>> Allen Crowder finished his course of his own faith journey.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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