she could be

2026-03-10 · 첨삭 강사 Aki

학생이 쓴 원문

I think if she were she can get a bachelor\'s degree in child welfare. Of course we can avoid natural aging process as lack of concentration, getting worse of eyesight and sick of whole body and so on. I had better we recognize those symtoms. And we can do something whatever we can to try like diet, exercise, and regular habit... I think it is not important a long lifespan but meaning living in our aging times.

강사 첨삭

Good afternoon, Ms. [이름]!
One\'s determination surpasses all obstacles. 
Thank you for this!
Aki~

I think if she were she can get a bachelor\'s degree in child welfare.
>>> I think she will, if she takes a bachelor\'s degree in child welfare.

Of course we can avoid natural aging process as lack of concentration, getting worse of eyesight and sick of whole body and so on.
>>> Of course, we can avoid the natural aging process as lack of concentration, getting worse eyesight, and being sick in the whole body, and so on.

I had better we recognize those symtoms.
>>> I had better we recognize those symptoms.

And we can do something whatever we can to try like diet, exercise, and regular habit...
>>> And we can do something, whatever we can to try, like diet, exercise, and regular habits...

I think it is not important a long lifespan but meaning living in our aging times.
>>>  I think it is not important to have a long lifespan, but a meaningful aging life.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·