Shopping centers

2019-10-15 · 첨삭 강사 Oneil

학생이 쓴 원문

Maybe I cannot live on without smart phone. Honestly, I use my phone for about 4 hours a day and I know it is quite much time. I tried to live without phone because phone battery was gone. It was hard time for me. I couldn’t check friends’ contact and couldn’t listen to music. 1. These days I can find shopping centers anywhere. Especially, whenever I try to buy clothes or [이름]s, I go to downtown because there are many shopping store as many as I cannot see whole centers. Most of all, I enjoy to go upsquare that includes books, clothes, shoes, and so on. 2. I don’t go shopping center that much. I enjoy to surf the internet because it is really convenient. Also, if I want to get a specific stuff, I can find the most quality stuff. I go shopping centers one time a month. The reason why I don’t go well shopping centers is that internet is much cheaper.

강사 첨삭

Smartphones. hahaha. Really Cherry?

Maybe I cannot live on without smart phone. 
>> Maybe I cannot live without my smart phone. 

Honestly, I use my phone for about 4 hours a day and I know it is quite much time. 
>> Honestly, I use my phone for about 4 hours a day and I know it is quite too much.

I tried to live without phone because phone battery was gone. 
>> I tried to live without my phone  when the phone battery is drained. 

It was hard time for me. I couldn’t check friends’ contact and couldn’t listen to music.
>> It was hard time for me. I couldn’t check my friends’ messages and I couldn’t listen to music.

1. These days I can find shopping centers anywhere. 
>> Correct. 

Especially, whenever I try to buy clothes or [이름]s, I go to downtown because there are many shopping store as many as I cannot see whole centers. 
>> Especially, whenever I try to buy clothes or [이름]s, I go downtown because there are many shopping stores.

Most of all, I enjoy to go upsquare that includes books, clothes, shoes, and so on.
>> Most of all, I enjoy to go up-squares that includes books, clothes, shoes, and so on.

2. I don’t go shopping center that much. 
>> 2. I don’t go to shopping centers that much. 

I enjoy to surf the internet because it is really convenient.
>> I enjoy surfing the internet because it is really convenient.

 Also, if I want to get a specific stuff, I can find the most quality stuff.
>>  Also, if I want to get a specific stuff, I can find something with the best quality. 

 I go shopping centers one time a month. 
>>  I go to shopping centers once a month. 

The reason why I don’t go well shopping centers is that internet is much cheaper.
>> The reason why I don’t go to shopping centers that much is because shopping on the internet is much cheaper.

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