Should everyone become vegetarian for the sake of health or the environment?
학생이 쓴 원문
I think that becoming vegetarian is depends on individual preference.
Absolutelly, eating vegetable helps our body healthy. For gaining muscle, we can eat plant protein such as bean and tofu instead of meats. Also, if everyone become vegetarian, capative animals don\'t need to die.
However, I think eating weak animals might be providence of nature. And eating meat is very natual action for a long time. So it isn\'t necessary to force being vegetarian.
강사 첨삭
Hello, Mary! You expressed your ideas clearly and gave thoughtful points about health, the environment, and tradition. I like how you balanced the benefits of vegetarianism with the natural role of eating meat, which shows critical thinking. To improve your writing, focus on grammar and word choice: for example, use “depends on individual preference” instead of “is depends,” “absolutely” instead of “absolutelly,” and “captive animals” instead of “capative animals.” Also, “provides a natural balance” or “part of nature” is clearer than “providence of nature.” Overall, your reasoning is strong, and your explanation is logical—keep practicing to make your sentences smoother and more precise.
-Teacher Wela
I think that becoming vegetarian is depends on individual preference.
>> I think that becoming vegetarian depends on individual preference.
Absolutelly, eating vegetable helps our body healthy.
>> Absolutely, eating vegetables helps keep our bodies healthy.
For gaining muscle, we can eat plant protein such as bean and tofu instead of meats.
>> To gain muscle, we can eat plant-based proteins such as beans and tofu instead of meat.
Also, if everyone become vegetarian, capative animals don\'t need to die.
>> Also, if everyone became vegetarian, captive animals wouldn’t have to die.
However, I think eating weak animals might be providence of nature.
>> However, I think eating small or weak animals might be part of nature’s balance.
And eating meat is very natual action for a long time.
>> Eating meat has been a natural action for humans for a long time.
So it isn\'t necessary to force being vegetarian.
>> So it isn’t necessary to force everyone to be vegetarian.
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