Should everyone in the family be required to attend gatherings, or should it be optional?

2025-11-24 · 첨삭 강사 Wela

학생이 쓴 원문

I think everyone should attend family gathering except due to natural disaster. Actually, I can\'t understand that someone can\'t attend family gathering because she/he is busy. Everyone in the earth is busy in their life. If there\'re busy task, she can do it in advance or delay. If she doesn\'t attend family gathering due to this reason, the worth of family gathering is not important than work for her.

강사 첨삭

Hi! You did a great job explaining your opinion about family gatherings. I like how you emphasized the importance of prioritizing family time and shared your reasoning clearly. Your ideas are strong and easy to understand. Keep practicing, and try to use a few more linking words like therefore or however to make your sentences even smoother. Great work!
-Teacher Wela 
I think everyone should attend family gathering except due to natural disaster.
>> I think everyone should attend family gatherings, except in cases of natural disasters.
Actually, I can\'t understand that someone can\'t attend family gathering because she/he is busy.
>> Honestly, I don’t understand when someone cannot attend a family gathering simply because they are busy.
Everyone in the earth is busy in their life.
>>Everyone in the world has a busy life.
If there\'re busy task, she can do it in advance or delay.
>> If there is an important task, it can usually be done in advance or postponed.
If she doesn\'t attend family gathering due to this reason, the worth of family gathering is not important than work for her.
>> If a person chooses not to attend a family gathering for that reason, it shows that the value of the gathering is not as important to them as their work.

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