Should families adapt to modern lifestyles or keep traditional roles?
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름] [이름]! You expressed your opinion clearly and supported it with a strong modern example. Your ideas are relevant and realistic. To improve, focus on plural forms (boundaries, roles) and pronoun agreement (fathers → their babies). Overall, clear thinking and good structure, keep it up!
-Teacher Wela
I think people should follow modern lifestyles.
>> I think families should follow modern lifestyles.
Nowadays the boundary of roles between man and woman cannot be defined clearly.
>> Nowadays, the boundaries between the roles of men and women are no longer clearly defined.
Fathers can raise his baby at home and Mothers can go to work.
>> Fathers can raise their babies at home, and mothers can go to work.
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