Should I request the correction of my writing?

1. Don't stymie me in that way. 2. I want to have a power to burn like Lee Hyoli. 3. I studied English what I learned in PowerEnglish yesterday. 4. Asking that, what else did you do outside from that? 5. Let's start with your book. We get having page 3. 6. For sharing information with coworkers. 7. In case of a teenager with no control over oneself, I think they shouln't have a cell phone. 8. If they don't give the cell phone, then someone might hurt them. 9. I'd like you to read letter.

Hi Ms. [이름]! Good job in this composition.  There were just some minor errors so please review them. Don\'t hesitate to ask questions every now and then.  Keep up the good work! CIAO! ~Teacher Marie~ 1. Don\'t stymie me in that way. >> CORRECT2. I want to have a power to burn like Lee Hyoli. >> CORRECT **Excellent sentence! Haha! I love Lee Hyori too. ^^3. I studied English what I learned in PowerEnglish yesterday. >> I studied what I learned in Power English yesterday.4. Asking that, what else did you do outside from that? >> What else did you do aside from that?5. Let\'s start with your book. >> CORRECT We get having page 3. >> We are having page 3. OR >> We are going to have page 3.6. For sharing information with coworkers. >> To share information with my coworkers.7. In case of a teenager with no control over oneself, >> In case of a teenager who has no control over himself/herself,I think they shouldn\'t have a cell phone. >> CORRECT OR >> I think teenagers who have no control over themselves shouldn\'t have a cellphone. - better8. If they don\'t give the cell phone, then someone might hurt them. >> If they don\'t hand in their cellphone, then they might get hurt. OR >> Someone might hurt them if they don\'t give their cellphone.9. I\'d like you to read letter. >> I\'d like you to read letter ____.