Should minors be allowed to get tattoos (if they have parental permission)?

Hello there, [이름]!

Welcome to the composition page here at Power English.

Thanks for dropping by and doing your homework.

You did very well in expressing your thoughts here.

I totally agree with what you said.

Kindly check my corrections below.

Ciao!

~Teacher Marie~ ^^

Some people think that minors should not be allowed to get tattoos, if they have parental permission.

>> Some people think that minors should not be allowed to get tattoos, even if they have parental permission.

However, I think that minors can get tattoos without parental permission for two reasons.

>> CORRECT!

First of all, even they are minors, they have their right to express their feelings in some ways like tatoos.

>> First of all, even if they are minors, they have the right to express their feelings in some ways, like through tattoos.

Even though they can not get parental permission, they have their own idea about what is she or he going to be for the future.

>> Even without parental permission, they are allowed to have their own idea about what they want to be in the future.

They have to decide their own things about what to do, how to do.

>> They have to make their own decisions.

Second, tattoos can get off anytime when they want to remove them.

>> Second, tattoos can be removed anytime.

That is why it is not worried for minors to get tattoos.

>> That is why it is not a worry for me if minors want to get tattoos.
 I do not believe what the North Korea said, because they always say lies towards South Korea.

>> I do not believe in what North Korea said because they always tell lies about South Korea.

There are several convincing evidences in the article.

>> CORRECT!

For example, Kim who was trying to do assisnation to Kim Jung Eun is just normal person working in Russia.

>> For example, Kim, who was accused of trying to assassinate Kim Jong Un, is just a normal person working in Russia.

That kind of person can not easily access to the supreme leader of DPRK.

>> That kind of person cannot easily gain access to the supreme leader of DPRK.

That is why I think the statement which refered ab

>> That is why I think the statement about...

*Your sentence is incomplete. ^^