Should More Rights Be Given to Immigrants?

2017-01-20 · 첨삭 강사 Kris

학생이 쓴 원문

Regarding the subject, the most important thing is immigrants are legal or not. To begin with, every immigrant should be legal. That is to say, immigrants should be given rights only if they fulfill several important requirements such as speaks international language(english etc.), pays taxes and so on. If Immigrants are smart, talented and industrious people, a country’s economy could be developed by them. In summary, above question depends on the immigrants's mind and their behavior.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]!
Good  evening :)

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Here are some of the corrections. 

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~~ Teacher Kris


Regarding the subject, the most important thing is immigrants are legal or not.

>>Regarding the subject, the most important thing is whether immigrants are legal or not.
 

To begin with, every immigrant should be legal.

>>Correct


That is to say, immigrants should be given rights only if they fulfill several important requirements such as speaks international language(english etc.), pays taxes and so on. 

>>That is to say, immigrants should be given rights only if they fulfill several important requirements such as speaking the international language(english etc.), paying taxes and so on.


If Immigrants are smart, talented and industrious people, a country’s economy could be developed by them.
>> A country’s economy could be improved by immigrants  if only they were are smart, talented and industrious.


In summary, above question depends on the immigrants\'s mind and their behavior.

>>In summary, the above question depends on the immigrants\' mind and behavior.


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