Should new holidays be created to address modern issues like mental health or environmental awarenes
학생이 쓴 원문
The purpose of holiday is celebrating and re[이름]ding something important.
Nowadays, many people are suffering from their mental issues.
And environmental issues like climate change and micro dust are getting worse.
In the past, April 5th was a holiday for planting trees in Korea.
So many people went to the mountain and planted trees in this holiday, but people have hardly ever done that since the holiday was gone.
So, I think it needs to create holidays for social issues and re[이름]d regularly and try to solve them.
강사 첨삭
Hi, [이름] [이름]! You provided a strong and practical example about Tree Planting Day in Korea, which made your answer more persuasive and meaningful. Your reasoning about using holidays to raise awareness of modern issues like mental health and environmental problems is thoughtful and relevant. To improve, focus on article usage (a holiday), smoother phrasing (raise awareness), and clearer sentence structure. Overall, your answer is logical, informative, and well-supported, great job!
-Teacher Wela
The purpose of holiday is celebrating and re[이름]ding something important.
>> The purpose of a holiday is to celebrate and re[이름]d people of something important.
Nowadays, many people are suffering from their mental issues.
>> Nowadays, many people are suffering from mental health issues.
And environmental issues like climate change and micro dust are getting worse.
>> Environmental issues like climate change and fine dust pollution are also getting worse.
So many people went to the mountain and planted trees in this holiday, but people have hardly ever done that since the holiday was gone.
>> Many people used to go to the mountains and plant trees on this holiday, but people have rarely done so since the holiday was removed.
So, I think it needs to create holidays for social issues and re[이름]d regularly and try to solve them.
>> So, I think we need to create holidays for social issues to raise awareness regularly and encourage people to help solve them.
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