Should violent video games be banned in South Korea? Why or why not?

2023-04-10 · 첨삭 강사 Charry

학생이 쓴 원문

I think we don\'t have to do it. It\'s because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games. Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it. So, It shouldn\'t ban violent games in South Korea.

강사 첨삭

Good evening Daisy. ^^
Thank you for diligently writing an essay about this topic.

I agree that banning violent games is like suppressing other people\'s freedom to enjoy their free time.
However, in my opinion, violent games should only be allowed among adults and not among young people so that, if they commit crimes because of playing violent games, they can be held accountable for them.
Anyhow, that is my opinion about the matter.
I hope you\'re doing great. ^^
See you later in class. :)
~Teacher Charry

I think we don\'t have to do it.

>> CORRECT!

It\'s because if we ban to violent video games, people will get complaints about why they have not to play a violent video game even they commit some criminal things by playing violent games.

>> It\'s because if we ban violent video games, people will complain about why they can\'t play violent video games even if there\'s a chance that they can commit some crimes from playing violent games.

Also I think banning violent video games are taking out their freedom to play it.

>> Also, I think banning violent video games is like suppressing other people\'s freedom from playing it.

So, It shouldn\'t ban violent games in South Korea.

>> So, we shouldn\'t ban violent games in South Korea.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기