Should women get plastic surgery to make themselves have a better self-image?
학생이 쓴 원문
Whenever I get on the subway, I can see a lot of hospital advertising of plastic surgery inside of the subway. Korea is the kingdom of plastic surgery, so I can see many foreign tourists who are wearing pressure bandage on their faces in Seoul. Recentry, many Chinese visit my country yo have a tour and plastic surgery at one time. It is so called medical tourism. We can also find some articles about accidental death related with the plastic surgery. In many cases plastic surgery is not safe and risky.Many people including men are having plastic surgery to have better appearance. image. We are living in a society that emphasize outer image than inner nature. Mass media and advertises are highly affected on lookism. It is a kind of social pressure to women. Feminin looking women have adventages than boyish looking women when they get a job. There are many women who have plastic surgery regardless of social pressure. But this social trend is the result of discrimination against women.
강사 첨삭
Hi Sue! Thank you for investing a little of your time with this homework. I really appreciate the effort. ^ ^
Nicely done composition Sue. You really did a good job. ^ ^
I definitely agree with you. People go into this trend because of what is imposed and magnified in the society. ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah
>>CORRECT or
>>Whenever I get on the subway, I can see a lot of hospital advertisements on plastic surgery.
Korea is the kingdom of plastic surgery, so I can see many foreign tourists who are wearing pressure bandage on their faces in Seoul.
>>CORRECT
Recentry, many Chinese visit my country yo have a tour and plastic surgery at one time.
>>Recently, many Chinese tourists visited my country to have a tour and get a plastic surgery at the same time.
It is so called medical tourism.
>>CORRECT
We can also find some articles about accidental death related with the plastic surgery.
>>CORRECT
In many cases plastic surgery is not safe and risky.
>>CORRECT
Many people including men are having plastic surgery to have better appearance. image.
>>Many people including men are having plastic surgery to have a better appearance or image.
We are living in a society that emphasize outer image than inner nature.
>>We live in a society that emphasizes on the outer image rather than the inner beauty.
Mass media and advertises are highly affected on lookism.
>>Mass media and advertisers are highly focused on lookism.
It is a kind of social pressure to women.
>>CORRECT
Feminin looking women have adventages than boyish looking women when they get a job.
>>Feminine looking women have more advantages than boyish looking women in terms of being hired for a job.
There are many women who have plastic surgery regardless of social pressure.
>>CORRECT
But this social trend is the result of discrimination against women.
>>CORRECT
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