Skype doesnt\' work
학생이 쓴 원문
I don\'t know why, but my id was automatically logged off, and I cannot log in. skype says something about security problem. I cann\'t fix it. Sorry. See you on Monday. I will fix it
When I worked at military in 2009, I won the first prize at the marketing idea contest. The contest was held by an investment company. They lunched a smartphone application with which people can invest. The reason why I enrolled the contest was that I was interested in an investment at that time, and the prize was 5,000,000 won. I started to read materials related to marketing. I summit 10 ideas and luckily won the contest. For example, I suggested that they should make a tutorial for those who are not familiar with smartphone. Most investors may be around their 40-50’s who may be are not good at using smartphones. Moreover, I suggest several user interface to be changed, because it was too complicated to invest using a smartphone. The numbers, letters, and bars were too small, and hard to navigate.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for being with me today. :)
When I worked at military in 2009, I won the first prize at the marketing idea contest.
When I worked at military in 2009, I won the first prize at the marketing idea contest.
>> When I worked at the military in 2009, I won the first prize at the marketing idea contest.
The contest was held by an investment company.
>> Correct.
They lunched a smartphone application with which people can invest.
>> They launched a smartphone application with which people can invest.
The reason why I enrolled the contest was that I was interested in an investment at that time, and the prize was 5,000,000 won.
>> The reason why I joined the contest was that, I was interested in investment at that time. And, the prize was 5,000,000 won.
I started to read materials related to marketing. I summit 10 ideas and luckily won the contest.
>> I started to read materials related to marketing. I submitted 10 ideas and luckily, I won the contest.
For example, I suggested that they should make a tutorial for those who are not familiar with smartphone.
>> For example, I suggested that they should make a tutorial for those who are not familiar with smartphones.
Most investors may be around their 40-50’s who may be are not good at using smartphones.
>> Most investors may be around their 40-50’s who also, maybe, are not good at using smartphones.
Moreover, I suggest several user interface to be changed, because it was too complicated to invest using a smartphone.
>> Moreover, I suggested several user interface to be changed because it was too complicated to invest using a smartphone.
The numbers, letters, and bars were too small, and hard to navigate.
>> Correct.
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