smoke problem
학생이 쓴 원문
I think smoking is very harmful for smokers and people around them. So I argue that smoking in public must be regulated strongly. Someone say smokers have the right to smoke whenever and wherever they want. But, the right of non-smokers who are harmed their lungs is more important than smokers right. Because they don’t want to smell cigarette scent and harm their lung. I think to place the smokers room is better solution to this problem
강사 첨삭
Hi Soo An!
This is an acceptable first attempt for essay writing.
Check out the patterns below.
The subject-verb agreement and the direct patterns are commonly used in these types of writing.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think smoking is very harmful for smokers and people around them.
>> Correct
So I argue that smoking in public must be regulated strongly.
>> So, I am of the opinion that smoking in public must be strongly regulated.
Someone say smokers have the right to smoke whenever and wherever they want.
>> Some people say smokers have the right to smoke whenever and wherever they want.
But, the right of non-smokers who are harmed their lungs is more important than smokers right.
>> However, the right of non-smokers whose lungs are being harmed is more important than the smokers\' right.
Because they don’t want to smell cigarette scent and harm their lung.
>> It\'s because they don\'t want to smell like cigarettes and they also don\'t want to harm their lungs.
I think to place the smokers room is better solution to this problem
>> I think a better solution to this problem is for smokers to just smoke privately in their own rooms.
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