Soccer
학생이 쓴 원문
At the morning because of soccer match that will happen in 9pm, the street was all cheering for our team, Korea. The match was the final match and the opposite team was Japan that we are rival with, people and also me were excited about the match. When the game start, after 1[이름]ute 20 second, Japan has the first goal, and it was frustrating because the goal happened so fast. However, after 26 [이름]ute, Korea had the goal and the score become same. i can see that Korea was leading the game however, even tough there is a [이름]ce to have a goal, our team members cannot connect it to a goal. After the half time, Korea was passing the ball with heading nearby Japan\'s goal post, Than, Cho y u have the goal and we started to lead Japan with 2 score. Than the game was over and we win the asian game and we had gold medal. It was to happy to be winning the game and the player seems to be happy to. It was a fun and thrilling match
강사 첨삭
Good day, [이름] Mi! I really appreciate your time and effort for making your composition. It is good to know that you are interested in sports. Congratulations to the Korean soccer tea on winning the gold medal. I hope to talk more with you next time. Take care! ~T. Lyn
At the morning because of soccer match that will happen in 9pm, the street was all cheering for our team, Korea.
>>From the morning, the streets were filled with cheering for out team, Korea, due to the soccer game scheduled at 9 p.m.
The match was the final match and the opposite team was Japan that we are rival with, people and also me were excited about the match.
>>The game was the final, and the opposing team was our rival, Japan, and people and I were interested in this match.
When the game start, after 1[이름]ute 20 second, Japan has the first goal, and it was frustrating because the goal happened so fast.
>>1 [이름]ute and 20 seconds after the game started, Japan scored the first goal, it was frustrating because they scored right away.
However, after 26 [이름]ute, Korea had the goal and the score become same.
>>However, after 26 [이름]utes, Korea scored and the score was tied.
i can see that Korea was leading the game however, even tough there is a [이름]ce to have a goal, our team members cannot connect it to a goal.
>>It looks like Korea is leading, but even if there is a [이름]ge in scoring, our teammates are unable to convert it into goals.
After the half time, Korea was passing the ball with heading nearby Japan\'s goal post, Than, Cho y u have the goal and we started to lead Japan with 2 score.
>>At the end of the first half, Korea passed the ball with a header near the Japanese goal, and Cho Yu then scored to leave Japan with two points.
Than the game was over and we win the asian game and we had gold medal.
>>The competition ended with the team winning a gold medal at the Asian Games.
It was to happy to be winning the game and the player seems to be happy to.
>>I was very happy to win the game and the players seemed happy too.
It was a fun and thrilling match
>>It was a fun and thrilling game.
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