Social media is good at human communication.
학생이 쓴 원문
I agree that social media improves human communication.
When I became a director in my company. I don’t know some people who are influential customers.Especially, at that time, Our company started a new business. so, I had to meet new customers.
From about 2 years ago, I have started posting on facebook everyday, while going home on the subway or on the bus.
Because of that, I have made many friends on facebook. The number of facebook friends is about 4,600, and than many of them have purchased our company’s products, and some of them have promoted our company to their friends. even I have learned something from them, and sometimes I have helped them.
So, I think social media improve human communication very much.
I
강사 첨삭
Happy Friday Elliot!!
Wow! Thank you for narrating a bit of some background stories. I agree with your opinion too! It is really very convenient to communicate nowadays because of social media. It also gave way to a lot of opportunities for business promotion.
I want to commend you for your proper use of con[이름]ctions!!! I am so glad that you properly used \"on Facebook\". That is correct! When pertaining to a website or a social media platform, we use the con[이름]ction \"ON\".
For today\'s corrections, please observe that there are some sentences which can be connected into one long sentence, while some long sentences can be divided into two simpler ones. Also please be careful in using commas and observe proper capitalization. Proper or specific names are capitalized.
Also, be careful in choosing which verb tenses you will use.
I hope you will apply these tips to improve your next writing exercise! Keep it up!!!
Have a great weekend!
-Teacher Violet.
I agree that social media improves human communication.
>> CORRECT!
When I became a director in my company. I don’t know some people who are influential customers.
>> When I became a director in my company, I didn’t know any influential customers.
Especially, at that time, Our company started a new business. so, I had to meet new customers.
>> Especially at that time, our company started a new business so I had to meet new customers.
From about 2 years ago, I have started posting on facebook everyday, while going home on the subway or on the bus.
>> About 2 years ago, I started posting on Facebook everyday while going home on the subway or on the bus.
Because of that, I have made many friends on facebook.
>> Because of that, I have made many friends on Facebook.
The number of facebook friends is about 4,600, and than many of them have purchased our company’s products, and some of them have promoted our company to their friends.
>> The number of my Facebook friends is about 4,600. Many of them have purchased our company’s products and some of them have promoted our company to their friends.
even I have learned something from them, and sometimes I have helped them.
>> Even I have learned something from them, and I help them sometimes too/as well.
So, I think social media improve human communication very much.
>> So, I think social media helped improved human communication (very much)/(a lot).
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