Social Network.
학생이 쓴 원문
'Social Network' It is also a name of the movie. Right now, I'm really confusing that what service I have to use, Facebook or Cyworld. Former is really popular in world except Korea. Still Korean use Cyworld more than Facebook. My friends are using Cyworld right now, but as a novice at online based social networking system, Facebook is more attracting becase I can meet people all around the world. In fact, I've registered in both of them. What I'm going to do is to pick one of them. It is like progressive and conservative dillema, former is for Facebook and latter is for Cyworld. I'm still confusing. The problem will be solved if I would be active in both service but it conflicts with my time problem. What can I do??
강사 첨삭
HI MR. [이름]!! I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL WEEKEND. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE CONFUSED ON WHAT SOCIAL NETWORK YOU'RE GOING TO USE. THERE'S NO BIG DEAL. ANYTHING WILL DO, THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH IN USING ANY OF THESE SOCIAL NETWORKS. THEY'RE BOTH SOCILA NETWORKING SO CHOOSE THE ONE WHICH YOU THINK IS BETTER FOR YOU. BE RESPONSIBLE WITH YOUR TIME AS WELL. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FACING YOUR COMPUTER ALL THE TIME. KNOW WHEN TO USE IT AND WHY. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU FIND IT WORTHY USING THESE SOCIAL NETWORKS.
-Teacher Venus
HERE ARE THE CORRECTIONS:
'Social Network' It is also a name of the movie. Right now, I'm really confusing that what service I
>> Social Network is very popular nowadays and it's a title of a movie. I'm really confused on
have to use, Facebook or Cyworld. Former is really popular in world except Korea. Still Korean
>> what network I'm going to use Facebook or Cyworld. The former is popular worldwide but,
use Cyworld more than Facebook. My friends are using Cyworld right now, but as a novice at
>> in Korea, Cyworld is more famous than Facebook. My friends are using facebook now, but as
online based social networking system, Facebook is more attracting becase I can meet people all
>> a novice at online social networking system, Facebook is more attracting since, I can meet
around the world. In fact, I've registered in both of them. What I'm going to do is to pick one of
>> people all around the world. In fact, I've registerede in both of them. My problem now is which
them. It is like progressive and conservative dillema, former is for Facebook and latter is for
>> one would I use It is like a progressive and conservative dilemma. I'm still confuse.
Cyworld. I'm still confusing. The problem will be solved if I would be active in both service but it conflicts with my time problem. What can I do??
>> The problem I think will be solved if I use both, but I don't have much time. What will I do?
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