Some people believe that individuals are becoming more and more dependent on each other, where as ot
학생이 쓴 원문
In modern society, people pretend to be more independent than before, but most people need help from others and would like to socialize with people who have same interests in real life. We used to live nearby to each other but people often reside in different cities to their parents because they prefer more privacy than in the past. However, people feel lonely when they are alone, so they try to upload a lot of pictures on their SNS and want people to put favorable comments. It means that people are not independent. As humans, socializing is the basic elements to maintain our lives. I believe that children have to be taught being independent because they have got lots of help from their parents. They need to learn how to solve the problem that might encounter in the future. Children are usually not mentally strong, I believe that the education can change the attitude of their lives. I am not sure if people are more dependent or not these days. but I think both attitude are important
강사 첨삭
Good day Mr. [이름]~! ^^ It\'s great to check you first essay this week. Enjoy writing!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In modern society, people pretend to be more independent than before, but most people need help from others and would like to socialize with people who have same interests in real life.
>>> CORRECT
We used to live nearby each other but people often reside in different cities apart from their parents because they prefer more privacy these days than in the past.
>>> CORRECT
However, people feel lonely when they are alone, so they try to upload a lot of pictures on their SNS and want people to put favorable comments.
>>> CORRECT
It means that people are not independent.
>>> CORRECT
As humans, socializing is the basic elements to maintain our lives.
>>> CORRECT
I believe that children have to be taught being independent because they have got lots of help from their parents.
>>> CORRECT
They need to learn how to solve the problem that might be encountered in the future.
>>> CORRECT
Children are usually mentally weak, I believe that education can change the attitude of their lives.
>>> CORRECT
I am not sure if people are more dependent or not these days.
>>> CORRECT
But I think both attitudes are important.
>>> CORRECT
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.