Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greate

2021-01-19 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I agree with the former opinion. I think all of experiences is important because the whole experience affect one’ life. But I think the life that occurred before we go to school is more important. The reason is that the life that occurred before we go to school took place first. And this experience affects the life that occurs in teenagers. For supporting my opinion, I would like to say one of my experiences. Before I went to elementary school, I had gone to kindergarten where I should speak only English. However, I couldn’t speak English totally, and most of my friends spoke English well. I were scolded by my English teacher because I didn’t use English when I spoke. So, my confidence gradually disappeared and I got an English phobia. This experience affects that after life, so I didn’t study English hard and the fear still exists now. In conclusion, I think the experience when occurred before go to school is more important. Thank you for reading my essay.

강사 첨삭

LOVELY TUESDAY [이름]~! ^^ Thank you for diligently doing your homework! Keep it up! Never ever belittle yourself when learning the language. Make other people\'s opinions your motivation so you can reach your goals as far as learning English is concerned. Keep going [이름]!
 Have a nice day! ^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I agree with the former opinion.
>>> CORRECT
I think all of experiences is important because the whole experience affect one’ life.
>>> I think all experiences are important because the whole experience affect one’s life.
But I think the life that occurred before we go to school is more important.
>>> 
But I think, the time spent before school days is more important.
The reason is that the life that occurred before we go to school took place first.
>>> CORRECT
And this experience affects the life that occurs in teenagers.
>>> And this experience affects the life of teenagers.
For supporting my opinion, I would like to say one of my experiences.
>>> To support my opinion, I would like to share one of my experiences.
Before I went to elementary school, I had gone to kindergarten where I should speak only English.
>>> CORRECT
However, I couldn’t speak English totally, and most of my friends spoke English well.
>>> CORRECT
I were scolded by my English teacher because I didn’t use English when I spoke.
>>> I was scolded by my English teacher because I didn’t use English when speaking.
So, my confidence gradually disappeared and I got an English phobia.
>>> CORRECT
This experience affects that after life, so I didn’t study English hard and the fear still exists now.
>>>This experience affects my life, so I didn’t study English hard and the fear still exists now.
In conclusion, I think the experience when occurred before go to school is more important.
>>> In conclusion, I think the life that occurred before we go to school is more important.
Thank you for reading my essay.
>>> CORRECT

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