Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support

2020-09-28 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

Koreans should pay for national pension every month. That is one of the obligation as Koreans. People have to make a payment if they are work, if not they don\'t need to pay for it every month. But if they work again, they need to pay for it. Citizens can receive their pension after retirement according to the amount which was paid before. However, we expect that the national pension fund is in danger of being exhausted that might cause a lot of people can\'t get their pension after retirement. So many people complain about paying it. Young people also are worried about this system because the population will be shorter and old people\'s population is getting increasing continuously. Young people will be the one who have to support old people and they will not get any money from the national pension authority. So, I think government have to prepare extra money for elderly and also keep the money for young people. Because helping elderly can be serious burden for young people. old-age pen

강사 첨삭

Hi there ~! ^^ Mr. [이름]! Thanks for always doing your essay! Your effort is always appreciated! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Koreans should pay for the national pension every month. 
>>> CORRECT
That is one of the obligation of Koreans.
>>> CORRECT
 People have to make a payment if they are work, if not they don\'t need to pay for it every month. 
>>>  People have to give a payment if they are working, if not they don\'t need to pay for it every month. 
But if they work again, they need to pay for it. 
>>> CORRECT
Citizens can receive their pension after retirement according to the amount which was paid before. 
>>> CORRECT
However, we expect that the national pension fund is in danger of being exhausted that might cause a lot of people can\'t get their pension after retirement. 
>>> However, we expect that the national pension fund is in danger of being exhausted that might cause a lot of people not to get their pension after retirement. 
So many people complain about paying it. 
>>> CORRECT
Young people also are worried about this system because the population will be shorter and old people\'s population is getting increasing continuously.
>>> Young people also are worried about this system because the population will be fewer and old people\'s population is increasing continuously.
 Young people will be the one to support the old people and they will not get any money from the national pension authority. 
>>> CORRECT
So, I think government the have to prepare extra money for the elderly and also save money for young people. 
>>> CORRECT
Because helping elderly can be serious burden for young people. old-age pen
>>>Because helping the elderly can be a serious burden for young people. 

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